I don't always remember
what it's like to be held
in arms that are not my own
But this is not a message of
loneliness 
If I wanted to send ships
full of feelings 
to your doorstep
I know that I could
So I don't
I am rediscovering a space
of warm pavement 
where I don't cry
when I hear certain songs
I've been waiting to pull this from
myself
I have grown
upward,
outward
Now I move to grow 
inward 
Doused in misguided optimism
Finding a space of comfort
existing as the heart
that beats inside of
the machine I was taught to fear 

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