There are a lot of things that I wish I could find a formula to. If I had it my way I would maybe map and chart out my whole life. But sometimes there are things we can't plot on a graph or find a reason or formula behind. We feel somethings sometimes... without reason.
This is why people fall in love.
Why people start wars.
It's why people wear their hair up certain ways sometimes. And it why people jump off bridges sometimes.
I can't always map what I'm feeling. It's not because I don't know myself. It's because life is different, more magical, than that.
I know that I can fall in love. And I know that I can sob over a broken heart. Because feelings change. Slowly; rapidly. It's not about why I feel the way I do. It's about feeling it. Feeling it with my heart and bones and muscles and soul.
I still like to make maps. But I know now that there are secret folds and trapdoors and feelings stitched in the papers I make them on. I don't know why they're there, I just know that they are. And I'm ok to see that this is beautifulmagicalwonderful. beautiful.
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