Thursday, March 6, 2014

Time Capsule

1     

      1.   Cold tile floor
before the house walls
had memories
      seeped into them
Like the dirty fingerprints of us kids

2.
      Salt water and
sand between my toes
      and
a bathing suit wedgie
We held hands,
my sister and I,
and I made her laugh       for the first time
            Still proud now

3.
      Salchipapas
on
      dirty litter-ridden streets
Fingers dipped in
jars of peanut butter
My tongue
sloppy
with Spanish
and first kisses

4.
This one I don’t remember
      -I wasn’t there-
only the aftermath
Vomit on my dress
and later
      your phone call
“Please don’t speak to me again”
      And I didn’t

5.
      Heat under my sneakers
      The walk back to campus
from
      the also crazy friend’s
The sun shone through me
Golden
Before the rainy day
      where I destroyed my arms


I can’t hold them in my hands
      but in my heart
memories
                  of
The ‘I love you’s before the anger
Crying from laughing so hard
LSD-induced epiphanies
      And discovering how to
                  be happy

The pieces of my father
      in the way I care too little 
and the pieces of my mother

      in the way I care too much

Thursday, July 25, 2013

What I won't remember

(written in 2013)




There was vomit on my dress
and the belt had been loosened
so I chalked it up
to one of those nights

We would joke about it in class
I couldn't remember a thing

You would joke about it during lunch
she couldn't remember a thing

I still don't really know


I can barely remember your voice
we almost weren't talking anymore
There was a rumor passed on
by your sister
The start of many
But it was before I lost my mind


There are journals that I'm still scared to read
There are keys that I'm still looking for
I dropped them in water full of ink

I can sift and splash
and splash and splash and sift
but it'll never clear
They won't be found


I never knew evil
wore cotton polos
and drove it's grandmother's car

What I'll remember

(written in 2009)


It was dark outside
when I fell in love with your arms and found
on them
your ET fingers
Long enough that my ribs were your piano

Your speedometer glowed with
my feet pressed against your dashboard
Me
and you
and your car
all humming the same song

while my knees knocked together drumbeats
and my hands were sticky
with vanilla softserve
leaving a trace on every part of you that I might want to remember-

your beard that you could never grow
to the thick cotton of your polo
down
to the light of your hands
changing the song, whispering words
in the glow of the white interior

long before I stained it red
with roofied drinks and pizza sauce

Back
in days when I would
drive my own car faster
towards any silver towncar
to look for the dent in the side

Maybe it was you
mouthing the words to your favorite songs
wishing I were there so you could sing them into my cheek,
the glow of the speedometer lighting up the
white interior of your car

guiding us home
like Sunday school saints


Take me home
Drop me off
So I can get into my own car,
drive away,
and remember why you thought you were in love

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

"So, about the other night...."

Lets talk about it. I'll love you either way.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

But really,.

Life is pretty fucking awesome.!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Usually and always

I love everything and everyone. But I'm in love with nothing and NO ONE.

Thursday, October 25, 2012