Hella Normal Girl

Hella normal girl

They say I got maps

running under my skin

That's why my pulse

sounds the same

as my footsteps

That's why when

you press your ear to my chest

you'll hear the rustle

of every tree I've ever climbed

He said,

“Let me see

Let me see the marks

where you etched

love notes to yourself

to your lovers

to me

Let me feel the way

you hold yourself

when you know

you're doing okay”

I'm trying to find magic

in the breath of

my words

I'm trying to find

the breadcrumb trails

I left for myself

I'm trying to find myself home

They wanna be here for

my breakdown

They wanna see if

the stories are true

They wanna watch me

unstitch myself,

find my own way,

and sew me back up

so they can say

they did it too  

Nobody Loves Me Like I Love Me

The hand on my chest
is my own

I am reaching in,
flipping through pages,
and trying to find the right words
to make mine

I gave myself light
before you could

I know
that a fire burns inside of you
But I always draw my hand away
instead of kindling it

Sometimes the curve of
my shadow's spine
looks like
the first letter in the word, 'crutch'

I don't need your light
to find my way home

I never really left

Circles, Cycles, Waves, and Wires

Our feelings are

cyclical

They swim upstream

pumping blood

into our arms

and our hearts

You can say their names out loud

I promise I won’t laugh

We were both born

sacred and scared

Afraid to step into the sun

and learn to walk on land

Our emotions

evaporate

when we want to not worry

They form clouds

in our chests

next to where we keep

our secrets

They pour down

to form Rivers

Lakes

Puddles

where we can swim

Circling around each other

Just like you always imagined

The importance of vulnerability

My anxiety looks and feels

the same as my fathers

We’ve never talked about it

but I can recognize it

in the way my mother talks

about the nights he stays awake in bed,

his heart heavy from giving so much away

I’m working on trying

to create with my hands

and love with my heart

Every so often,

I find myself doing the opposite

My mother cried

the day that she broke her favorite mug

I am slowly learning how to be okay

being fragile like this

I am slowly learning how to be okay 

with my own softness, 

to be okay with my own strengths